I steal socks.

“I’m still not Demetri Martin, you say?”

“Bugger.”

Am I Demetri Martin yet? No?

Oh.

I actually wear my watch so much that it’s given me a tanline, but you should never let the truth get in the way of a pun.

And then it was reborn as Stewart Broad. So that was good.

This character is based on a kid I met at work. And also milk. Mostly milk.

I am now in Melbourne for a bit, so the rest of Punweek is queued.

Works best if you read the second in a deeper voice.

Coffee is good.

‘So David, what did you do today?’

‘Definitely didn’t consider drawing a condom on a phone. No. Not that.’

… or two.

Search ‘Taxidermy’ on tumblr. When I did it, some pretty cool stuff came up.

One day I need to do all of these.

This has been a pun.

I can’t draw hands.