I’ve lost my razor.
- Attempts to shave face with pair of scissors: Unsuccessful.
Please, mother’s friends.
Stop referring to your sexcrement as a ‘newborn’ baby.
The newborn bit is not needed. No one thinks you forced a 45-year old through your now-annihilated vagina.
Skype-ing my grandparents.
Me: Do you know what an ipod is?
Grandad: I know that it's modern and I hate it.
Things which are awesome:
- Owning a book with a hollow cut into it.
- Making said book with hollow in it.
- Tina Fey’s new audiobook.
- Metronomy, as a whole.
- Bacon sandwiches on a Tuesday afternoon.
- Being forced to clean your room, then finding $23 on the floor. (All in 20 cent coins.)
- Sherlock.
- A Bit Of Fry & Laurie
Started watching Sherlock today.
Yet another thing that’s filmed in Cardiff. It makes it extremely difficult to get immersed in a story if the major crime scene is the carpark where you once broke a window with an orange.
Things that are apparently not acceptable alternatives to goodbye:
- BEGONE, STRUMPET!
- Take your cavernous vagina elsewhere!
- In the vaguest of senses, I hope you die.
